According to the late William Bartholme, a 20th-century cancer sufferer from Kansas City, dying should be thought of as an experience to be lived, rather than a medical condition. Nothing is more certain in life, and yet few things are so infrequently talked about. When confronted with news of a terminal illness, it is useful to have on hand a hospice book on the dying process.
Sometimes, families get several months' notice that someone is terminally ill. In other circumstances, there is insufficient time to adjust to the idea. You play the hand you're dealt. In the end, no matter how well prepared you think you are, when the moment arrives, there will still be shock waves. In the meantime, the time interval is an opportunity to sort out the distribution of property, discuss practical matters and sort through the myriad emotions.
Once the shock dies down following the awareness that death is imminent, there is a lot to think about. What physical changes will take place over what period of time? Dispersal of the individual's estate needs to be sorted out. There are issues of end of life care, organ donation and advanced directives regarding the individual's wishes about being resuscitated.
Every person is different in how they handle the last few months and weeks of life. Some people are calm and composed while others are terrified. Some people take it as it comes while others want to maintain every last moment of control.
While the person doing the dying will have a lot to think about, so will the other friends and family. Try to steer people toward settling festering disputes and encourage forgiveness all around. This is partly for the peace of mind of the aspiring deceased, but also to ease the grieving process for those left behind.
Whether or not the dying person wants to donate their organs, it is important to have this decision explicitly stated in their records. It is a delicate question and much easier on both the family and the medical team if it is clearly documented. The same goes for emergency treatment in the event of a cardiac arrest or other life-threatening condition. If there is a DNR document (Do Not Resuscitate) in place, it is essential that everyone concerned to be aware of it.
Some people choose to spend their last few weeks on earth in a hospice, which is a specialized care center dedicated to the needs of the dying. Others will require the high-tech support of the hospital environment. Where possible, dying at home affords familiarity, comfort, and privacy.
How can you tell when death is imminent. To some extent, this will depend on the nature of the terminal illness. The brain will conserve its last scraps of energy to maintain its own function, so less life-sustaining functions will start to fall by the wayside. They may, for example, lose the use of their legs very close to the end of their life. The moment of death may be preceded by some disturbing moments, such as agonal breathing. It is not always as peaceful and romantic as it is sometimes portrayed. These are just some of the reasons why it is a good idea to find a good reference manual to cover the practical, religious, legal, medical and emotional issues that you are going to face in your role as a psychopomp.
Sometimes, families get several months' notice that someone is terminally ill. In other circumstances, there is insufficient time to adjust to the idea. You play the hand you're dealt. In the end, no matter how well prepared you think you are, when the moment arrives, there will still be shock waves. In the meantime, the time interval is an opportunity to sort out the distribution of property, discuss practical matters and sort through the myriad emotions.
Once the shock dies down following the awareness that death is imminent, there is a lot to think about. What physical changes will take place over what period of time? Dispersal of the individual's estate needs to be sorted out. There are issues of end of life care, organ donation and advanced directives regarding the individual's wishes about being resuscitated.
Every person is different in how they handle the last few months and weeks of life. Some people are calm and composed while others are terrified. Some people take it as it comes while others want to maintain every last moment of control.
While the person doing the dying will have a lot to think about, so will the other friends and family. Try to steer people toward settling festering disputes and encourage forgiveness all around. This is partly for the peace of mind of the aspiring deceased, but also to ease the grieving process for those left behind.
Whether or not the dying person wants to donate their organs, it is important to have this decision explicitly stated in their records. It is a delicate question and much easier on both the family and the medical team if it is clearly documented. The same goes for emergency treatment in the event of a cardiac arrest or other life-threatening condition. If there is a DNR document (Do Not Resuscitate) in place, it is essential that everyone concerned to be aware of it.
Some people choose to spend their last few weeks on earth in a hospice, which is a specialized care center dedicated to the needs of the dying. Others will require the high-tech support of the hospital environment. Where possible, dying at home affords familiarity, comfort, and privacy.
How can you tell when death is imminent. To some extent, this will depend on the nature of the terminal illness. The brain will conserve its last scraps of energy to maintain its own function, so less life-sustaining functions will start to fall by the wayside. They may, for example, lose the use of their legs very close to the end of their life. The moment of death may be preceded by some disturbing moments, such as agonal breathing. It is not always as peaceful and romantic as it is sometimes portrayed. These are just some of the reasons why it is a good idea to find a good reference manual to cover the practical, religious, legal, medical and emotional issues that you are going to face in your role as a psychopomp.
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